Self love is the best love...
Sharing the journey of the girl who found herself on the other side of the world. Blogging my way into your hearts by sharing my personal stories of fails and wins throughout this crazy thing we call life.
We’ve all had those moments in life where we wish we were invisible; typically for a specific moment; to avoid an uncomfortable or embarrassing situation. I was recently reflecting on my early twenties; as I often do, and remembered that I wished that I could wear a paper bag over my head when I was out in the world. I literally said that out loud. I wished I was invisible. I can now attribute this to the fact that I had little self-worth, little self-love, and little self-confidence. I felt I had little to offer. I felt without a man to love me or a posse of friends by my side; I was worthless. I simply wanted to be under the radar when out in public. I did not want to be seen; physically or emotionally.
I share these old wounds because life is so different now. I now put myself out there (like writing blogs like this); vulnerably and authentically. Not only is my actual face seen on my Tianna Leigh website, Facebook page, and various social media; I feel like a bit of my soul is seen too. Not only am I now putting myself out there in the public eye on a regular basis; I now make decisions that are aligned with my true self. I finally grew to be comfortable in my own skin; after a lot of losses and a lot of hard work on myself. It’s amazing to see this growth in my own journey. It’s amazing that once upon a time I never would have dreamed of putting myself out there and now I am lit up when I do. I don’t do it for the clout or the ego; it feels like an authentic calling to share my truths through my writing. I believe it would be a disservice not to share. Grateful that I no longer want to be invisible and instead want to shine love and light wherever I can. I will continue to share my heart with the world and hope that it helps wherever I can.
The lessons learned that I want to share are that:
You should never want to be invisible.
You are seen.
You are worthy.
You are loveable.
You do matter.
People love you for you.
You can speak your truth.
You can be seen at your worst and still be loveable.
You have unique gifts to offer this world.
Your existence has purpose.
You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
You are loved.
Love and Light,
Happy Women’s History Month!
Women empowerment is in my bones; it’s what I live for! SiSTARhood (sisterhood) is at the core of my being. I believe that inspiring and lifting our sisters up is essential. There’s no greater force than women banding together. Women have the innate ability to empathize and harmonize.
I don’t know where I’d be without my soul sisters. The women who have inspired me to keep going. The women who have wiped my tears away. The women who have believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. These women live in my heart.
Cheers to women empowering women!
Love and Light,
P.S. Thank you to my soul sister Jodie Jaimes for embodying SiSTARhood and for being such a light in this world.
I see it all the time. Friends worrying about their kids growing up “in this crazy world”. Employees trying to map out their entire future in a week. Young girls feeling behind if they are not in a relationship or on the marriage track. The list goes on. People are always thinking way too far ahead; in my opinion. You see; the world moves fast. No matter what you’re doing or not doing; time is rapidly flying by. So, why spend so much of that precious time worrying about so many things you can’t control or see? Worrying about the future takes away from the now. And the now; the present; THAT is where the magic happens. Doing your best in this very moment sets you up for the moments to come. My advice would be to take the moments as they come. Don’t ruin today thinking about tomorrow, or next year! You are truly doing yourself a disservice when you “live” in the future. All that worrying is wreaking havoc on your body, mind and spirit.
If you take a moment to reflect on all the past circumstances you were worrying about; you will see that they worked out perfectly. That doesn’t mean it worked out “your way”, but it always works out the way it’s supposed to. We can only make sense of our lives circumstances as we see them in reverse. Everything, and I do mean everything is working out just as it should be. Just like everything up until this point of your life has worked out; so it will continue. You just can’t see it while it’s happening. Breathe. Have faith; that’s why it’s called faith!
Show up fully and presently every day. Focus on what you CAN control and that’s your thoughts and actions. Everything else will unfold around you.
Love and Light,
There are some people you simply can’t wait to spend time with. You are excited, eager and are counting down the days. These are the best types of people! You are likely embraced with a warm hug. You can have endless hours of meaningful conversation. You smile and laugh a lot in each other’s presence. You feel uplifted and oh so happy spending time with this person. In fact with as good as you feel after you spend time together; you simply can’t wait to see them again!
On the other hand; there are some people you can’t wait to get away from. You feel anxious and stressed as the time gets closer to be in their presence. You’re anxiously looking at the clock waiting until you can make your getaway. There are many reasons that you may not vibe with someone in person, but don’t ignore those feelings. There’s a reason your inner guide is feeling unpleasant. My recommendation would be to stop spending time with this person or people altogether! I understand that sometimes that is simply not feasible for one reason or another, so in those cases; I’d at least limit my interactions as much as possible.
You see; the way you feel around someone is a direct reflection of what you will obtain from the relationship. In my opinion; I’d much rather have people who empower and uplift me whenever I spend time with them. It’s intoxicating and makes for a better life. If I always spent my free time with emotional vampires; I’d be drained. It is a form of self-respect to decide who you will and will not tolerate in your life. Our time is limited; don’t get wrapped up in other people’s agendas. This is YOUR life. Respect yourself enough to surround yourself with amazing people. You deserve it!
Love and Light,
Deep down we always know what is best for us. We KNOW logically the things that we should and probably shouldn’t do; and even the company we should or shouldn’t keep. We are smart cookies and we should always have our best interest at heart. Kind of funny though; when it comes to relationships it appears that the mind and the heart sometimes just can’t get on the same team. It’s so frustrating; especially when going through a hurtful time. On one hand; you have your mind telling you that “it’s time to go”; meanwhile, your heart is still in the clouds holding on to false hope. The heart sees the best in everyone and every situation; I mean that’s where all the LOVE comes from after all, so it make sense. The heart wants to badly hold on; even when it’s very wrong for us. The heart is really big into giving chances too. It’s downright heartbreaking that the heart can be a pushover and will allow us to be put through hell.
The mind; on the other hand is the more rational, down to earth, logical side. The mind says things like: “This person hurt you; it’s time to let go.” “Don’t see you see the pattern? You will just get hurt again.” “You’ve gotten through worse; you will get through this; if you could just listen to me”. Meanwhile; the heart is responding…”but….but…..but” and sometimes you just have to tell the heart to sit down; especially during times of heartbreak! Unfortunately, your heart has blinders on during this time. Your heart is holding on to the good times, the “I feel bad for you’s”, the “I want to fix you’s”; the “but this time will be different.” You’ve got to give the heart credit for holding on to such hope and for being so optimistic; there’s definitely a time and place for the heart, but not when it comes to keeping yourself from a bad situation or from continuously getting hurt.
Be gentle with yourself throughout the process, but learn to listen to your mind. It may seem like “the end of the world” to your heart, but your ally logic needs to come into play sometimes. While it may seem there’s a war going on between your heart and mind; there will come a day that they are harmoniously working together at ease again. It will just take some time.
Love and Light, Tianna Leigh
Does it happen to you? The funk. The funk; when you have sort of lost your zest for life. The funk; when you’re just not motivated…by anything.
The funk sucks!
While we don’t always know when it’s going to strike; it always seems to rear it’s ugly head once in awhile.
I figured out the only way to get through the funk is to MOVE through the funk. First of all; that means literally moving your body. It’s way too easy to sink into too much sleep, too much TV, too much blah. Your body was designed to move so move it! J I mean something as simple as a walk around the block. I mean intentional baby steps such as listening to an uplfting song. Queue: Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” – trust me; it works! I mean just get moving through the funk. The small little productive steps you make today towards feeling joy; whether literal or figurative; will slowly start to fight the funk. That’s it. Just small baby steps and you will start to feel better and back to your old self.
Before you know it; you’ll be through the funk once again. Cheering for you!
Love and Light,
Once upon a time I couldn’t fathom the idea of doing anything alone. I felt the need to have someone by my side; whether I was shopping, getting a manicure, or even sleeping. I felt the need to pack my schedule with dinners, visiting friend’s houses, running errands with friends; I mean anything I could do to fill my time. I simply did not want to be alone until I had to be. There were times I would get anxious towards the end of the work day; especially on a Friday if I had nowhere to go but home; where I’d be alone. There were even times I’d spend time with people I didn’t even particularly enjoy their company or conversation, but it was better than being alone. In hindsight I can see that I was coming from a very broken and unsure place.
It’s amazing to reflect back on now. My life and mindset are so different now. I absolutely L-O-V-E spending time alone. In fact; might I say; I actually prefer it. I think it’s such a huge growth point in my life and I think it’s so important to learn to be comfortable alone. Once you are comfortable on your own two feet; the world is your oyster! It’s seriously liberating. You can do ANTYHING you want because the only one holding you back is you. It’s amazing when you get to a place where you simply don’t have to simply “tolerate” people for fear of the loneliness creeping in.
I encourage you to get comfortable with spending time by yourself. Whether you are at home or out in the world. You should be your own best friend. You should know yourself better than anyone else. You should know how to follow your own heart; therefore, your own path. Getting still with yourself and your thoughts is a huge proponent to life’s success; in my opinion.
Love and light,
Why do we get so caught up in “what it’s supposed to look like”. What is the “it”; that I’m referring to? Your job, your relationship, your car, your house, your friends, your clothes; your life. It’s so easy to get caught up in timelines and grandiose ideas of what we think life “should” be. We’ve got to stop shoulding all over ourselves. It is enough to drive us mad. How are we to know what everything should look like anyway? Life is often full of surprises; good and bad, and that makes life unpredictable; yet exciting. Embrace it.
My advice would be to let go. Surrender! Go with the flow. There’s very little we can control besides our thoughts and actions. Everything else is secondary and is moving fast; with or without us. Simply surrender to the idea that life is happening; buckle up and enjoy the ride. Although you may think you know what it’s all supposed to look like; I assure you it’s going to be different than you’ve imagined. That’s okay! Just know that whatever is meant for you will never pass you by. Know that your story; no matter what happens or doesn’t happen according to your plan; it’s all working out for the best. Honestly; it ALWAYS turns out right side up. Let’s breathe a sigh of relief in knowing that everything is as it should be and everything will be just fine. Surrender and live a more peaceful life. Stop swimming against the current and float on, sugar.
I hope you learn to live your unapologetic life with ease. Relax. It’s all going according to plan. You’ll see.
Love and Light,
Do you ever find yourself walking on eggshells whenever you’re around someone? Do you find that their presence makes you uncomfortable? Do you find that you stay quiet more often than not around this person for fear that you might “upset” them? Why do we do this?! Why do we not honor our truth, our feelings, ourselves? Communication is the key to all relationships; platonic, romantic, family, children…etc. You must always be able to speak your truth. That means you can calmly and rationally communication your stance. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that. You feel the way you do for a reason; don’t ignore that. Are some conversations going to be tough, uncomfortable; emotional? You betcha! Don’t go out of your way to be an asshole, but speak out! Sometimes communicating requires getting uncomfortable, but once you speak your truth you will feel so much better. Be considerate when choosing your words, but please don’t silence yourself to appease another. In the end; you’re the only one who will suffer.
Instead of carrying all the weight on your shoulders; speak your truth. The only way to truly live a fulfilled life is to ensure you are always in alignment with yourself. Only you know how you feel. Only you know what you’re thinking. Only you know your perception. Never assume others simply know how you’re feeling about a situation or a person. We are all in our own minds and living our own experiences. Sometimes it’s simply necessary to say it out loud. You are allowed. Don’t anticipate how the other person will react; that’s on them. Simply speak your truth. You are allowed to tell someone they hurt you. You are allowed to tell someone why you feel the way you do. Authentic communication will get you further in life than sweeping everything under the rug. Face things head on and the more you do; the easier it will become.
Honor yourself. You always have the right to speak your truth.
Love and light,
People are always asking what the key to happiness is. Often times believing the key is in the next room aka the next chapter of their life. I’ll be happy when…I finish school, I get the new car, I get the new house, I get the new relationship, I get the new shoes; and the list goes on. A lot of people are putting off their happiness for another day; another year, and ultimately another life! If we’re always living in the future; looking forward to “someday” we miss so much. We miss the now. We miss the magic of life. The magic of life isn’t “in the next room”; it’s within. You can CHOOSE the key to happiness; today; right now! How? You wonder. I’ll tell you that the key to happiness is simply… being grateful. You’re thinking “Say what? That sounds like a bunch of pish posh to me!” I assure you it’s not!
That’s truly the key to happiness. Gratitude. Be grateful that you woke up, that you have a warm bed to sleep in, that you have friends, that you have a car, that you have a job; that you are alive. I mean it. Be grateful for it ALL. The more you focus on what you’re grateful for; the happier you will be. Honestly, you will only attract more things in your life to be grateful for. Focus on the abundance; not the lack. Focus on what you have; not what’s missing. That’s what gets us all tripped up; thinking that the next chapter will be all butterflies and rainbows. Some chapters are full of butterflies and rainbows; but not all, and that’s okay. Be grateful for it all. When you take a moment to take inventory of all of your blessings; big or small, I can almost guarantee you will be pleasantly surprised at how much there is to be grateful for.
Be present. Be here. Be grateful. That’s it. Sounds simple because it is. What are you grateful for today?
Love and light,
Having authentic conversation makes my heart sing. I love hugs. I live for connecting with people on a deeper level. I feel as though it is my soul calling to share my stories and perspective to be a light in this world. I'm exactly where I need to be and I'm very much looking forward to the bright future...