Self love is the best love...
Sharing the journey of the girl who found herself on the other side of the world. Blogging my way into your hearts by sharing my personal stories of fails and wins throughout this crazy thing we call life.
Here we are getting through this thing called life; one day at a time. I guess that’s the only predictable thing; that the future only comes one day at a time and sometimes that is simply all you want. From the day we’re born; we’re essentially tossed into the river of life. The river of life is unpredictable to say the least. At times you’re smooth sailing with nothing but clear skies and other times; it’s raining and you’re trying to navigate some rapids.
No matter what kind of waters you may have to navigate throughout the river of life; my advice to you would be to embrace the journey. Imagine yourself floating down a river. As long as you’re going with the flow (literally) you are going to have seamless ride. Conversely, if you try to swim the opposite direction of the current; you’re going to be exhausted and are going to be fighting the process every step of the way.
You must learn to leap in the river of the life and no matter where it takes you; you must trust the process. You must learn to embrace all the beauty, love and growth opportunities you will encounter along the way. You must learn to live as if everything is rigged in your favor; even when you can’t understand why something is or isn’t working out. The only thing certain is uncertainty so you might as well enjoy the ride!
Sending you lots of love and light, TL
Why is it so easy for us to GIVE advice, but it is so hard to TAKE the same advice you’d be dishing out? It seems whenever a friend or family member is in crisis mode we can come in and be the strong, level headed, positive person they need us to be. On the other hand, when we ourselves are in crisis mode, every positive piece of advice they throw at us starts to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher! Although you so appreciate their advice and know deep down they are probably right, all you start to hear is “wa wa wa wa wa wa.”
I suppose it is because when you’re in crisis mode all you are consumed with is the fear of the unknown and start to feel a bit like “why me?!” When your “crisis lense” is on; everything seems to be a bit dreary and all of a sudden everyone you come in contact with seems to be annoyingly happy and put together. We know this is untrue to some extent because life is full of ups and downs and people have their own stories and skeletons in their closets but it’s hard to see that when you feel so confused, angry, hurt or whatever else your crises may entail.
One thing is for sure, I’m sure this is NOT the first time you have felt this way. The upside of that is to know that you came out of it on top, somehow, someway. Therefore, it would be foolish to think that the same would not happen this time around Just as people see us for the awesome people we truly are when we can’t see it ourselves; we must learn to trust the process and know that their positive encouragement and outlook is something we should try to adopt during these times in our lives also. I assure you they can see your situation probably clearer than you can, so at times we must allow them to be the positive light and have faith that they are right. Things never stay the same; good or bad. I guess the key is to be thankful for the good times and be graceful during the bad times.
Where there is no challenge there is no growth so whatever you’re going through is simply a growing pain. Regrets, mistakes and second guessing yourself is never fun in the moment, but it’s all for the experience. You will always learn something about yourself during these challenging times and that is invaluable. In order to continue to reach for your highest potential you are bound to make some mistakes along the way, but all that means is that you’re trying! Try not to beat yourself up too much (as easy as it is to do!) Every single one of us has made our own share of mistakes, but we survive and come out better people in the end.
Through it all, please continue to love yourself. You are simply doing the best you can. Always remember: when you know better, you do better.
Love and light, TL
It seems that whenever we’re down and out; right smack dab in the middle of having our hearts broken in one way or another we tend to want to close ourselves off. It seems like the most logical option. If we don’t open up; we can’t possibly feel this hurt right? Not particularly. Those of us who can be and are possibly by nature “vulnerable” with others tend to have amazing connections; the flip side to that is that we also endure painful heartbreak. When you love so big you risk hurting big too. Being vulnerable means that we show us as our authentic selves, we share stories about our lives, we take the walls down and look for the best in every person. It is amazing when a vulnerable person finds someone who sees our unique spark and decides to nurture the relationship. It is also NOT so amazing when a vulnerable person finds a manipulative or emotionally closed off person.
As us vulnerable people go through life; there will be people who will appreciate and nurture us for who we are and we will make some of the most amazing connections with people. Will there be times when we want to close ourselves off thinking that is the solution to not getting hurt? Absolutely. Is that the correct approach? Absolutely not. Do not dare change or mold yourself to fit in with people who are too uncomfortable with you being open. Do not close off part of who you intrinsically are; it’s the worst thing you could possibly do.
Keep opening up and loving and being beautiful you! The right people will appreciate and love you for who you are. Period. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.
Life; it can be your best friend and sometimes your enemy. Sometimes you’ll dance with life and other times you’ll want to punch life in the face. Either way; learn to embrace it. During the good times; be grateful. During the bad times; be grateful. Say what? Yes! Be grateful for the bad times too. Without the pain, the confusion, the heartache; we’d have no barometer to compare our good times to. Harsh reality, but it’s true.
The hard times will force you out of your comfort zone and will sometimes kick your butt. Although, the awesomely wonderful thing about the hard times is that they will force you to grow. In my opinion; there’s nothing better than growing through an experience and honestly; we have to be tested in order to grow. You can’t stay in your safe, comfortable, predictable bubble and expect to reach your full potential. It just doesn’t happen that way and I know that’s not what you want to hear, but guess what; that’s probably a sign you need to grow!
I know that every single time I’ve been “down and out” about one thing or another; I want to fast forward and get this “growth opportunity” over with. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. We have to sit with the pain, feel the heartache, cry the tears and grieve what’s been lost or what is changing. The only way out truly is through so don’t avoid, don’t numb, don’t run away; feel it all. Once you feel it and stare it right in the face; you will start to see that you are growing stronger BECAUSE of this time. Trust the process.
Focus on the lessons being learned as you replay the scenario in your head. I can guarantee there are things you will learn about yourself throughout this process. We’ve heard “When you know better; you do better” so these painful experiences will be no different. You’re experiencing this to help you become MORE of who you are supposed to be. As you reflect; hold on to the lessons and the “if I knew then what I know now” moments that arise. You will learn. You will grow. Your only responsibility to yourself going forward is to truly learn the lesson(s) being revealed through this pain. There’s ALWAYS a lesson to be learned and once you gain clarity on what that lesson is; you can’t unlearn it; you can’t not see it. Learn it; apply it; change it; whatever has to be done…do it! Don’t keep repeating the same patterns and the same scenarios thus creating the same pain you’re now experiencing. Change it! Learn it! Take those “aha” moments and move forward.
I hope you can turn your pain into power and can apply the lessons learned. You will be better because of this time in your life; promise. Be grateful for it all; you’re becoming stronger in the meantime. In fact; the next time a life dip comes lurking; you’ll be better equipped to handle it. You’ll know you survived everything so far and you’ve already learned so much. As we get older; each dip will be less intense because we’ll have more lessons learned in our toolkit. We’ll have more faith in ourselves and the process of our lives; because it’s meant to be lived out loud and living life out loud requires growth.
Having authentic conversation makes my heart sing. I love hugs. I live for connecting with people on a deeper level. I feel as though it is my soul calling to share my stories and perspective to be a light in this world. I'm exactly where I need to be and I'm very much looking forward to the bright future...