Self love is the best love...
Sharing the journey of the girl who found herself on the other side of the world. Blogging my way into your hearts by sharing my personal stories of fails and wins throughout this crazy thing we call life.
I was getting a manicure the other day and the nail technician mentioned the “holiday weekend”. I was absolutely confused – did I miss a few weeks?! Memorial weekend isn’t for a few weeks, right? She then said “Mother’s Day”! I said “Oohhh, yes, you’re right, it is a holiday weekend”. She then said very confused “Do you not have a mother?” I looked at her with a soft smile; “I actually don’t.” I don’t think she knew what to say as the subject quickly changed. It got me thinking about being motherless. It’s been something I’ve been pretty much my entire life. She took her own life when I was 7, and although that was a long time ago; it’s something I’ve definitely struggled with every year.
If you’ve lost your mother; I don’t care at what age; it’s just not natural. It’s not something you’ll ever be fully accepting of because doesn’t everyone need their mom at some point? That seems to be the case for most people I know. For me, there have been so many times in my life where I needed my mom; I needed her to tell me that I was indeed loved; how much I was actually worthy of; or simply just to know she was there with a warm hug. Especially being a woman; the mother daughter bond appears somewhat magical and I long to create that with my own daughter someday hopefully.
There’s nothing I can do to change the reality of my life or yours if you’re reading this as someone who has also lost their mother. The only thing we can do is be thankful for the people that are still here and even those pseudo mommies I’m sure we all lucky to have. Perhaps we can help those that complain about their moms realize how lucky they are to even have one to complain about. Sometimes offering a little perspective is the best we can do; because not everyone is celebrating on Sunday for Mother’s Day but we’re not alone. Although I can’t bring her back; I hope we can at least honor her memory.
Being motherless isn’t the easy road, but I thought I’d share that it’s also not a lonely road. There’s quite a few of us out here in this world that have lost our mothers in one way or another. There’s never going to be a replacement or anything that is going to make it “right” but perhaps there’s some solace in knowing you’re not the only one who may not realize Sunday is Mother’s Day.
If you’re still lucky enough to have your mother; cherish her! Love her! Hug her! Ask her for stories! I ask that you not take for granted that you have your mom; it’s such a privilege. Do it for the motherless; a somewhat silent population that very much exists.
Wishing a very Happy Mother’s Day to every mom that has touched my life. To all my mommy friends. To my mom.
Love and light, Tianna Leigh
Having authentic conversation makes my heart sing. I love hugs. I live for connecting with people on a deeper level. I feel as though it is my soul calling to share my stories and perspective to be a light in this world. I'm exactly where I need to be and I'm very much looking forward to the bright future...